They say that anticipation of death is worse than death itself. When you know that something is coming but you don’t know when your mind plays this game with you. It makes you think you saw that shadow in the corner move. It sends signals to your body for it to prepare to either fight or flight. I would assume that inmates on death row probably reflect on their lives and what has transpired in it to bring them to this point.
People that oppose capital punishment say that the isolation of a death row inmate is mental cruelty. Every day not knowing if today is your last day or not I assume would drive the mind crazy. They call this “the death row phenomenon”. Some of these inmates on death row ultimately end up committing suicide because the uncertainty of their fate.
How about the millions that aren’t in prison that suffer from the death row phenomenon. What about them? I feel that if you’re not living life then you’re just waiting to die. In a world of uncertainty two things remain very clear when it comes to our lives. We live and then we die. It’s one of the few things that are indisputable. People argue over what happens when we die (spiritually) all the time but no one debates the fact that eventually our physical bodies expire.
What are you waiting for in your life to happen to make you start living it? Why do we wait until it’s too late to discover what we’re passionate about? Why do we settle for good life when a great one is right around the corner? Why would you turn your life into a run out the clock situation? You don’t have to be in prison to be imprisoned. You can have the same freedom and rights as anyone else yet be trapped by your own thoughts. The uncertainty of what to do next in your life can (just like on death row) drive you mad.
Every day people end their lives with money in the bank and beautiful families left behind. They get to a point where they don’t know what’s next for them. They stop living life and start waiting for the clock to run out. I personally refuse to believe that my only purpose on this earth is to be born and then die without having an impact on it. So every day I have to live life to the fullest. That doesn’t mean that I’m going to go sky diving today and try to ride a bull tomorrow. All it means is that I’m not going to sit idle waiting for time to eventually run out.
Inmates on death row are given a last meal before they are executed. They’re allowed anything within reason. A priest comes in and prays for them, and then they meet their maker whichever way the state or country decides. The moment they’ve been waiting for (some for years) is finally upon them. The clock is about to hit 0:00. I would assume most would do anything to be able to put more time on that clock. You have time right now, what are you going to do with it today?
Excellent job.. I had a conversation similar to this yesterday with regards to mental illness. People would rather suffer in silence instead of seeking help. That’s not living, that’s existing.
Great article. I’ve had a similar problem before. Not knowing my purpose in life. Having a reason for living makes everyday even more special.
What a powerful, insightful post, Cornell – you truly moved me. I read something once – the name of which escapes me – the author took the average lifespan, calculated how many days that amounted to, and then subtracted how many days he had already spent/wasted. I think he had about 7300 days left, all things being equal. That tactic put things rapidly into perspective for me – along with the fear of God! Ha ha!
All my life, I had wonderful teachers in my parents. They lived very full lives, but when my beloved Mother died and I was clearing out her things, I found a little bottle of ‘Joy’ perfume tucked away, unopened, in her drawer. My Mother loved beautiful things, but tended to spend her money on those she loved and not herself – a result of her childhood, the effects of wartime rationing and poverty, I think. When I was able to work, I liked to spoil her. I had bought that same bottle for her almost ten years earlier – coincidentally, at the very same moment, in opposite ends of the very same shop, where she bought me the very same fragrance. It was known as “The costliest perfume in the world” – and I knew she had always loved it but would never dream of buying it. Finding that bottle, unopened, “too precious to use”` – God, it still makes me cry. I made my mind up there and then to grab life by the throat and shake the living hell out of it. I did for many years, no matter what challenges were thrown at me – but as you know, I recently stopped doing that, until you, with your wisdom, motivations and encouragement, helped coax me back. Today, I am thankful for you, my precious friend – I’m also cooking up a storm, taking the youngest here and there, and – crucially – taking up where I had left off. There’s still so much of Life to shake out!