You have kids that ace every quiz, they kill every homework assignment that’s given to them, and then the teacher gives them the kiss of death, they announce that next week there’s a test. Palms get sweaty, anxiety starts to set in and before anyone can figure out why this great student bombs the test.
What’s the reason? It’s not lack of knowledge or preparation, it’s not the professor or something the student ate for breakfast that morning. It’s the inability to take test, and it’s not just in a classroom setting.
Every day there’s a potential test waiting for us around the corner. In life passing or failing a test can be the difference between success or failure. Sometimes we only get one shot at it. Though it seems unfair you always hear people say things like, “I wish I could go back and do it all over again.” Some test we know are coming, like a job interview, or in sports trying out for a team, but some are unexpected and those are the ones that blindside us and sometimes even take away the confidence we have in ourselves.
The first coaching job I ever had was as the head basketball coach of Sussex County College. I’ve played the game for a decent amount of time and at a pretty high level but I’ve never coached before then. I was excited and nervous at the same time and was lucky enough to have a great supporting cast of coaches my first year to help me through my “growing pains” as a coach. We had moderate success that first year and even won the first round of our playoffs. The second year we improved to 14-14 and I had the second most wins in a season in school history. Needless to say I was feeling very good about myself going into my third year. I felt that every year the teams I coached got better, and didn’t expect anything less than 14 wins for my next season.
Then it happened. The roof caved in on my dreams of winning a conference championship. Before the season even started me and my staff were having problems with the new team we were bringing in. Five players ended up not coming to the school that told us they were definitely going to be there, our housing situation for out of town kids was in limbo, and on top of all that we had a couple of players that weren’t going to be eligible until second semester. Needless to say we ended up losing a lot of games. I kicked off our two leading scorers right before the midway point of the season (my assistant coach thought I was crazy at the time) for not following team rules and not buying into the whole team concept idea. At this point in the season we were 0-11 and were losing games by an average of 45 points.
“For every obstacle in your path, there’s an opportunity to grow”
Now anybody who knows me understands that I hate losing. I was a very competitive athlete and even to this day losing is something that I don’t like to make a habit out of. So as the season went on I got more and more frustrated, I was angry almost every day, and I started to question if being a coach was something I could be successful at. I was failing a very important test that I didn’t know how to pass. We finished that season 0-28. We didn’t win a single game and at the end of every game shaking the other coaches hand and seeing their faces (which looked like someone in my family passed away) was almost as hard as watching the game itself. After the season was over I reflected on the past 6 months, I thought about the few good things and the plethora of bad things I did as a coach that year.
There was one thing looking back on that season I was proud of (besides the kids that lasted through it) I never quit. I never once gave up on my team or stopped coaching them. If we were down 20 or down 60 (which was the case in several games) I was coaching my team like we were down 2. That showed me that I was meant to be a coach. You can’t lose any more games than zero. Its the worst case scenario and here I was still standing eagerly waiting for the next season. I never compromised what I believed in to get more wins (i.e. keeping kids on the team with the wrong attitude)and that following year we won 5 games. Yes it was only 5 but it was 5 more than last year. The following season I had a great group of kids that worked hard and brought in to what we were telling them. The results were us going 20-10 breaking every team record at the college and coming 6 points short of winning a conference championship. (A game I still remember and get a little upset about)
What if I would of quit after that first test? What if I got so discouraged on what happened that zero win season that I decided not to coach basketball again? It would of been easy to give up. I could of still trained kids and not deal with the everyday drama of trying to keep a junior college team not only together and on the same page but also eligible. Something told me not to quit, I had to believe in myself no matter what other coaches, parents, or even my players might of thought at that time. My love for the game of basketball was tested, and fortunately I passed.
I talk with people every day. Some are kids I train, some former players, some old friends, some new, and the one thing they all have in common is, they all have their own personal test they deal with on a daily basis. Anything from a coach that doesn’t believe in them to a boss that makes them feel inferior. Millions of people taking test in the present, most not realizing what affects the outcome might have on their future. It’s hard to cram for these “life test” they’re no cliff notes or cheat sheets, and no teacher present giving you a warning.
“Anyone can give up; it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength”
Some test we pass, and some we fail, all we can do sometimes is be the most prepared we can be and you do that by believing in the only person that determines the outcome, YOU.
