You are what you are because someone at some point in your life helped you get there. It could be your parents, your coach, your friend, or anyone else that might have had a positive impact on you, but bottom line is you didn’t do it alone. How easily this is forgotten in this day and age. You always hear about people “forgetting where they came from” once they get money or become famous. Or that they have “no time for the little people”. I have never understood how you can forget about the people that helped you become who you are.
I could never become an actor just for the fear of winning an award. I would probably thank so many people that not only would they put the “wrap it up” music on but they’d probably also turn the lights off on me. They’re so many people that have made me the man that I am today and that continue to help me evolve into the man I will become in the future. If it wasn’t for them taking the time to give back and help me who knows not only where I’d be right now but who’d I be?
My father was known in the city of Passaic for all the community work he did. He was always giving back and helping those he thought needed it. I feel that it’s in my genes and that’s what makes me do the same. I don’t see it as anything special because I honestly feel we should all do it. Giving a friend advice or staying after to help a player work on their basketball game is nothing out of the ordinary for me. That’s the reason why I’m so blown away when someone says that I have influenced their life or that I’m one of their mentors. There aren’t too many times I’m rendered speechless but this moment is definitely one of them.
When I first started junior college I averaged about 7 points a game my freshman year. I didn’t have a great skill set yet and I played mostly on the inside. At 6ft 4 and a half I would never be able to play on the inside at a four year school. The very next season we had a player join our team from Newark NJ, his name was Walt Hobbs. Walt was a guard and at that point handled the ball better than anyone I ve ever seen. It wasn’t just his basketball game that impressed me but also his mindset. No matter who guarded him on defense Walt always had a one track mind and it said, kill the person in front of me. He was so aggressive on offense that he would win games to 11 by himself. Now that didn’t make his teammates happy at all but it was fun to watch, unless of course you were guarding him.
I’m not exactly sure when or where me and Walt first met but after a couple of days we started talking every day. At one point he asked me if I’d like to work out with him. I was working out by myself at that point, so I said sure, because I would love to have someone else to train with. Then the transformation began. Every day Walt showed me how to be a guard (someone who played outside) we would shoot for hours, we would play 1 on 1, we would watch tape on other basketball players that played our position, we would do everything and anything it took to learn more about the game and get better. I remember being at a court at midnight practicing moves while Walt tried explaining the move to me over and over again.
There was no hidden agenda. I wasn’t giving him any money to train me. Walt just did what he did because he wanted to help me out. Needless to say the next year I practically tripled my scoring average and I was selected to the all region and all conference team. Walt didn’t play a lot of minutes on our team but it didn’t matter, he never stopped helping me despite me getting a lot of the accolades. When I received my scholarship that next year Walt made me a list of 500 moves to take with me to college. 500!! all handwritten. I never told Walt how much I appreciated everything that he did for me. He was a big reason that I was able to get a scholarship and thank god he came to my college when he did.
About five years ago my wife and I were holding tryouts for our travel basketball teams. One girl walked in the gym that was 6ft 6. I couldn’t believe she was going to be on our team. We joked that if she could chew gum and walk in a straight line she would be on the team. The only problem was she could barely do that. She was awful. She couldn’t catch, shoot, pass, rebound, dribble or do anything else basketball related. We actually had to show her how to run because up until that point she had never been taught.
As frustrating as this sounds there was one thing she had that I loved, and that was the willingness to work. Everything we threw at her she tried her best to learn. No matter what is was, if it was a move that frustrated her to know end she would train until she got it down. We formed a tight bond because most nights we’d be in the gym hours after practice working on her game. I saw her so much that eventually me and my wife started calling her our adopted daughter. She started basketball late (like me) and had no colleges looking at her despite her being 6ft 6 inches tall (which in guy equivalence is about 7ft 5) Eventually she would get a full scholarship to play at a division school, I was so proud of all the work she put in and that was a big enough reward for me.
Right before she left for college she gave me a handwritten letter. On the way home I opened it and read the first two paragraphs, I had to pull the car over and close the letter. I started to get choked up and knew that it wouldn’t of been a good idea if I continued to read it. In the letter she talked about how much I influenced her on and off the court and how she wanted to be a basketball coach now because of me. It really hit me hard because I knew how far she had come to get where she was at that moment.
“Progress is knowing that you are better than the day before, it doesn’t have to come all at once, small steps are just as important as big ones.”
She’s in her junior year now and starting on her college team, every summer she comes back from school she helps me out with our younger kids in the program. I don’t have to drag her to do it. She just does, and the kids love her. They have a role model that wasn’t born a great player but worked her way to become a very good one, and now she’s working with them, just like I worked with her, and just like Walt worked with me.
“Good deeds without reward are done by those truest in heart”
How true those words are, when you give without expecting something in return that’s the true meaning of giving back, and if everyone did their part the world would most definitely be a better place.
