When someone says “that person is really strong” naturally we think of physical strength. Being strong often has nothing to do with how much we can lift in the weight room. Most of the time it’s inner strength that gets us through the tough times in our lives. Unfortunately we sometimes only get stronger by going through difficult situations.
In a three month span two years ago my mom lost two of her brothers and her mother. One was expected and the other two were completely out of the blue. I received a phone call late at night on two separate occasions when my uncles died. It got to the point where If the phone rang during the night I didn’t want to pick it up. My grandmother was the last of the three that passed away. As I drove up to my mom’s house I couldn’t get over how hard this must be for her. I wouldn’t know what to do if I lost any member of my family let alone three in such a short period of time.
When I got to my mom’s house I was shocked at how well she was keeping it together. I have never been an outwardly emotional person myself; part of that reason was because I’ve always felt that I had to stay strong for my family. Growing up my mom was the epitome of strength and I tried my best to follow her lead. On this day though , when even I felt that she might break over the emotional toll she stayed strong. It just confirmed what I already knew; my mom was one of the strongest people I have ever known.
“You don’t lose people when they pass away because they will always be in your minds and hearts”
It’s so tough to deal with loss. It’s hard to imagine going through life without your parents, or your best friend, or even a family pet. They’re so many memories and moments that made them special. You remember the good times, the bad ones, and the times where you have no idea how you would of survived without them. This is when our inner strength is tested the most.
Everyone handles loss differently. Some immerse themselves in work, some fall into depression; others might disguise their sadness by acting as if everything is ok. Unfortunately there’s no manual for us to follow or instructions on how to deal with the pain. We just have to get through it.
Growing up I’ve always hated going to funerals (still do) I wanted to remember the person how they lived, not how I would be seeing them in a casket. I was so young when my father passed away emotionally it didn’t register until I got a little older. My first tough loss to deal with was when I was around twelve years old. That’s when my family and I lost Bandit. Bandit was a dog that was around six years old at the time she died. She was a collie and used to remind me a little of the dog from the show Lassie. I could honestly say Bandit was one of my best friends. She was very protective of our family, smart, and tough. (she used to fight raccoons in the woods) One day in our backyard unbeknownst to any of us she ate some rat poison. For the next couple of days we had no idea why she was acting different and throwing up a lot. By the time we found out why and after she was misdiagnosed by a vet that obviously had better things to do that day, it was too late. We sat with her before she was put to sleep. I’ll never forget how much it affected my family. Everyone was miserable and as I sat in the back of our van tearing up I wondered how I would go on without my best friend around.
After a while I realized that It was ok to move on. That didn’t meant I would ever stop thinking about Bandit, because obviously I still do. It just meant that I had to continue to live my life. There’s nothing we can do to bring back all the ones we have lost. But we can live our lives to the fullest, and keep them alive in our hearts and minds.
“Never forget those that shared their laughter, love, and kindness while on this earth, and don’t allow sorrow to stop you from doing the same”
