We’ve all been through the same scenario. Driving along the highway, music playing, everything seems fine. Then all of a sudden there’s a sea of red brake lights right in front of us. The first thing that comes to our minds is “there has to be an accident up ahead.” As we slowly creep up to the scene we find out its not the accident that’s holding up traffic. It’s the people in front of us that have the need to slow down (not to help) but to find out what actually happened. So they stare at the accident (no matter how gruesome) and creep by which in turn causes the car behind them to do the same and so on and so on.

The definition or rubbernecking is “the act of gawking at something of interest. It is often used to refer to drivers trying to view the carnage resulting from a traffic accident. The term literally refers to the craning of a person’s neck in order to get a better view”

Our societies fascination with car wrecks has problem been around since the early 1900’s when the first model T’s were invented. No matter what country you live in if there’s an accident there’s an audience. What amazes me is out of all the people that have been guilty of rubbernecking, I wonder how many have actually pulled over to help out, or called 911 if there were no police present? Probably not too many, but I’m sure that some have taken pictures or immediately called their friends to tell them about seeing a car on fire.

“When there are fires to put out you have to ask yourself, am I running for the extinguisher or running for the marshmallows”

The same rubber necking occurs in regular life. The actor Charlie Sheen just did an interview on CNN. In the interview he discussed his myriads of issues from his drug abuse to his kids being taken away from him to his porn star girlfriends. The interview basically portrayed him as what he is right now which is someone that is in desperate need of help. No one talked about how bad he looked or his kid’s safety being around him for any period of time. They discussed the crazy things he said and how wacked out he was. In twenty five hours and seventeen minutes Charlie Sheen set the world record for most followers in the least amount of time on twitter. (1 million) Is this not rubber necking? Do you think there were any rehab clinics that tweeted him and said “just saw the interview please call us”? Highly doubtful but I’m sure that Charlie Sheen T-Shirts with some of his famous lines in that interview are already pressed, made, and ready to sell. (you ll see them on a rubbernecker near you very soon)

Boring people (in societies mind) don’t have a million twitter followers. I don’t think I’m boring and I have a grand total of twelve. Now if I decided to run naked through the super bowl and give myself the moniker “The Streaking Bandit” I’m sure that number would start getting higher. I’m fine with my twelve though, and I’m fine with not letting my life spiral out of control just to be accepted by those who love a good car wreck.

Back in the days there used to be actual music on MTV. They would play the top videos or up and coming artist twenty four hours a day.  That didn’t give the station the ratings that they desired so here comes the “reality shows” like the real world, sixteen and pregnant,  jersey shore etc, and now its bye bye music video hello car wreck. Each season of these shows get more and more dramatic (thanks to story editors) and we as a society sit back and watch, only this time we don’t have to sit in traffic to do so. I watched the “Real World” growing up for the first five seasons until I started noticing a pattern. The ingredients were one crazy black person, one homosexual, one racist, one or two party people and then sprinkle in a drama queen or king and poof, automatic hit TV show.

When I watch this happen in real life I ask myself who do these people have in their corner?? If I started doing drugs and acting crazy I have a decent amount of family and friends that would line up to beat my head in and set me straight. That also goes the other way. Most of my close friends are my family members. Their kids call me uncle and I love them with all my heart. If I ever saw any one of them going downhill I would jump in right away to try and help. If they listened to me or not I would still do my best to get them on the right track.

My job title is a basketball coach and a trainer but I spend a lot of time talking to people and giving advice. To me it’s almost like another job, but just one I don’t get paid for.(nor would want to get paid for) It’s not a big deal for me to sit on the phone for an hour and listen to someone else’s problems. Anyone that I care about can call me at anytime if they have an issue and I’ll be there for them. I would never turn my back on a friend and I believe that anyone in my inner circle (which expands through new relationships each day) could tell you that.

My oldest brother Rob is a life coach. I would actually say his title is a professional encourager. I’m a pretty introverted person when it comes to discussing my own problems. I would rather listen to someone else’s than in my mind “burden” them with my own. Rob is one of the few people that I can talk to freely about whatever is bothering me or if I need his opinion on something. I almost feel like I’m talking to much in our conversations so I stop sometimes (because I hear silence) just for him to say “keep going” or to give his opinion on what was just being said. I have never met someone that listens as well as my brother Rob. I honestly believe if Charlie Sheen had him in his corner yeah he might still party but there’s no way he’d be as wacked out as he is right now.

“Lending a hand to help someone who’s down is better than assuming someone else will”

The mind usually follows the masses and that’s why there are fads and also why things go hot and cold over time (remember two toned jeans?) didn’t think so. Don’t wait for someone else to pull over before you do. Be the first person on the scene in someone else’s life that needs your help, and do it before you see the brake lights.