I was talking to my oldest brother Rob a couple of years ago when he said “I’m in the third quarter of my life”. Rob is the guy that I talk to whenever I have a life question. Talking to him for three minutes makes me feel like I can do just about anything. Whenever we talk I’m usually writing a sentence or quote down he said or typing it into my notepad to review later.
I’m not sure if he was using this particular analogy because of my basketball background or not but his words struck a chord.
Rob was explaining to me that he views life in quarters. Your first quarter obviously starts when you’re born and ends around eighteen years old. This quarter has a lot to do with discovery. Figuring out the world and figuring out you. I like to call this the “superman stage”. Nothing is impossible, well until you end up in the emergency room for trying to back flip off your bunk bed. You have your first crush, hear the awkward birds and bees talk, and eventually discover where you fall in the high school stereotype category.
The second quarter starts at around nineteen and goes until about forty. This quarter is where you start finding out why you’re here (on earth). You start figuring out what your purpose on this earth is. You settle into careers, you get married, you start a family, and your life is no longer occupied with just you. You learn that there are other people that need you. I personally am still in this second quarter. When I look at who I was when I was twenty and who I am now it’s night and day. I had no idea who I was or what my purpose was when I was younger. It was all about me for the most part, and now that has changed drastically.
The third quarter starts at forty and ends around sixty. According to Rob (because I’m not there yet) this quarter is a lot like the first. The kids start growing up and going to high school, and college. You search to discover yourself again because the whole second quarter was more than just you. Now with the kids gone maybe dad will get that motorcycle. Maybe mom will get that lower back tattoo that she’s been dying to get since she joined Curves. Most people call this quarter “the midlife crisis”. It’s easy to see and most times pretty funny. Dad gets an old corvette and wants to drive it in November with the top down. If that’s not enough he’s pumping the old Miami Vice soundtrack to really get everybody’s attention.
The fourth quarter goes from sixty and obviously stops when we pass on. Rob isn’t in his fourth quarter yet so I’m guessing on this one. I personally think the fourth quarter (especially towards the end) would be more reflective than anything. We start seeing our friends pass away and remember when we would run the streets acting crazy and getting in all sorts of trouble. We look at the world and can’t believe how the kids are “these days”. We begin our sentences with “back in my day”, and then go into a story about how we walked 5 miles to school, barefoot, in the snow. Our kids start having kids and we pray that we’re around long enough to see them grow. Near the end of the fourth quarter we probably ask the question what mark have I left on the world? How deep were my footprints, and how will I be remembered?
Now depending on what your beliefs are there could of could not be an overtime. Overtime again isn’t something that I can speak on because fortunately I’m not there yet. Overtime is what you believe will happen after you pass on. If there’s a God or not and so on. No one can help me in terms of talking about overtime but I will tell you this, believing that there is one will make the end of that fourth quarter so much better. It gives us something to look forward to. We think about all the people that have passed on and we pray that one day we will all be reunited. I can envision overtime as being one big hug fest with nothing but love all around us.
Some people don’t get past the first quarter and even more don’t appreciate that they did. We tell our players to play every minute, quarter, or game like it’s their last, we should all do the same.
THAT SAYS IT ALL CORNELL, LIVE EVERY DAY LIKE IT IS YOUR LAST,MAKE AN IMPRINT EVERY DAY INTO YOUR LIFE’S DIARY. LIKE SOCRATES SAID BE KIND TO EVERYONE FOR EVERYONE IS FIGHTING THEIR OWN BATTLE
Awesome insight!! Thanks mom!
Love the analogy & break down! I am in the second quarter too. Everyday is precious!!
Very true Sammy!
Kudos to your oldest brother. He gave some good advice. I know all bout the first stage. I counsel teens that think they can do just about anything until they get caught… Oops. I’m in the second stage and still trying to figure out life. My imagination exceeds me.
Rob is a wise man, Cornell – it’s obviously in your genes. It’ s a great analogy, even though I haven’t the least clue about basketball, but the way you map it out is clear and very convincing. I’m a little higgledy-piggledy, I’m in the third quarter and the fourth is looming all too ominously, I already have three grandchildren, already warbling about “Back in my day”, have sadly lost family and friends, and am deeply reflective much of the time. I’m never going to do the tattoo thing, but my children tease me that I’ll be eighty and still CliCk-ClacKing around in heels, glittery eyeshadow and scarlet lipstick – it sounds nightmarish, but I think they may be right! But yes – the ‘Overtime’ – I firmly believe in that and do my best to live my life accordingly, failing at times, yet that kind of love – and peace – is worth persevering for. In the meantime, you’re right – be grateful for every minute, grab life by the throat and shake the hell out of it! Love this post!