This picture pretty much sums me up in a nutshell. I’m in hour two at my friend Wendy’s wedding reception and probably in full lather. The dance floor was empty for about five minutes until I decided to occupy it with my 6ft 4 245lb frame.
The photographer has just caught me mid “running man”, and because Bell Biv Devoes song “Poison” is on this picture tells me that I have started the Cornell Thomas old skool dance routine. This routine has of course been perfected by years of doing the very same dance I’m doing in the picture, amongst others of course.
Whenever you go to weddings, clubs, or for that matter anywhere that plays music and has a dance floor most people are waiting for someone to start the action. Something inside of them says “Don’t be the first one out there”. The difference between me and those people is I don’t care. I don’t care what people think. I don’t care if I shouldn’t be sweating like a crazy person, and I don’t care if anyone joins me or not. I just want to have a good time and I go out on the dance floor like there’s no one else there.
So many people live their lives afraid to step on the dance floor, so they never do. They sit up against the wall and watch as other people have the time of their lives. It’s the fear of maybe embarrassing themselves, or the fear that the other wall huggers will judge them. Whatever the case may be they decide its best to “sit this one out.” I’ll never forget going to my 8th grade dance. Besides ensuring that my date would hate me beforehand (I never got her a corsage) I kind of just hung out with my friends and only danced at the very end. Mostly every boy there did the same exact thing, and besides the diner we went to afterwards and the white and pink tux I wore, that night was pretty forgettable.
Flash forward the next year and I’m a freshman in high school. I’m at my friends little house party (over 100 people/got a little out of hand) and I’m dancing like a mad man. I had a great time, got a girlfriend in the process, and left his house feeling great. (Major difference than the year before) At an early age I learned to say screw it! Someone is always going to have an opinion about you that might not be favorable. You can’t live your life for them; you have to live it for yourself.
Think about how many times you might have wanted to do something and a friend or family member says one thing and now you no longer want to pursue it. They put the fear of failure in your head and that great idea a couple of minutes ago doesn’t seem so great anymore. I’ve seen guys shot down at clubs (by women) faster than a machine gun but I have always respected the fact that they tried. What’s the worst that can happen the girl says no? O.k. cool I guess we don’t have the 7 levels of compatibility that match.com was talking about, have a great night.
It’s ok to put yourself out there sometimes, even if you’re the only one out there. While you wait for the right moment to dance someone else has already been doing the running man for an hour.
“Full lather”, I didn’t t realise this phrase was used in the US, I thought it particular only to the North of England! I love this, Cornell – I smiled and nodded my head from the minute I saw your photo, right through until I read the last word!
I learned early at school that I loved to dance – we learned a mixture of country dancing, set dancing, Irish and Scots reels – but, once out of those dancing classes I would never have considered getting up to dance first. Two things happened when I was aged 11-12. I was taken to my Mother’s hospital Christmas party one afternoon. I was, I think, the only child there. There was music and everyone was being terribly English and standing around making quiet, polite conversation, when a young doctor from Africa reached out to me and tried to persuade me to dance. I was so shy, I resisted. I had never danced with a grown up before, and nobody else was dancing – yet they were all looking. The doctor was being kind and terribly sweet, but he teased me that perhaps I didn’t want to dance with a black man. He didn’t say it in an accusatory way, he was being very gentle and understanding with me, but back then, in that part of England (the North) where I spent many of my formative years, racial issues were becoming more prominent. In fact, he was the first black man I had ever seen at close quarters. I was appalled and hurt at the suggestion, for my parents were both very intelligent, good people, who had, from the start, raised me to be acutely socially and politically aware. They were, odd as it might sound, considered a ‘mixed’ marriage, being Irish Catholic and Anglo-Irish Protestant – something very much frowned on at the time in certain circles. I realised then that instead of being so fixated on myself, I needed to ditch this form of selfishness and start actually taking others into consideration. So I told the doctor not to be silly (in typical paradoxical style, my shyness didn’t stop me from being precocious!), and I danced away happily. He was a much better dancer than the cool types I used to watch on “Top of the Pops’ on TV, and I was thrilled to bits.
The second thing was that, soon after, we went to live in Australia. I arrived just before the school dance and noted how derisive many of the girls were to boys who were considered less attractive. I hated that. So every time there was a ‘ladies choice’, I made a point of choosing some of the boys I knew would never be asked, it’s something I’ve maintained all my life. As I grew up and dancing became a passion, I made a point of dancing with every sober, polite guy who asked me because the unkindness of some at dances, and in clubs, was something I will never respect. Respect, as you say, is reserved for those who have the courage to try – not the cruelty to jeer.
In dancing, I’ll match your ‘Running Man’, with my ‘Flamenco Dancer’, I’ll strut out onto that empty floor, my right arm flounces up, I catch someone’s eye, smile – and I don’t care if I end up dancing by myself. Usually I don’t have to . But in the rest of life, I still struggle at times with being ridiculously self conscious and reticent. It can take me a little while to ‘warm up’. Once I get going, it can be hard reining me in – but it’s the impetus to make that first step which daunts so many, including myself. It can take huge momentum to inspire a person to try – and the smallest thing to quash that momentum. I don’t want to be in my rocking chair when I’m 90 wishing I hadn’t been quite so shy – how ludicrous would that be?! From now on, I’m going to keep that photo of you and this post in my mind – your life lessons are always so on target. Perfectly timed motivation once again, thank you so much my dear friend!
I love it TC! I’ll match your running man anytime. Life is way too short to not let loose sometimes. Great story as always!
Amen!!!! I love this! You are SO right. You are just so right. I love the picture and the message. Coming to your blog is like going to church. A really really good one with a message that makes a big difference. Love you!
So true! It’s time for all the wall huggers to get off the wall & get out there…it reminds me of something a friend of mine told me several months ago.