This weekend after months of planning my company (Crossroads Basketball) ran our second AAU (Amateur Athletic Union) basketball tournament. For a four month period we take a group of girls from all over the north New Jersey area and play against teams from all over. The county where the majority of my girls are from is called Sussex County. It’s a very rural area that isn’t known for basketball as much as some of the bigger cities in the state. Wrestling and football are the “popular” sports in the county and although there are one or two affluent towns most of the county is made up of middle class residents.

Most people that see me coach immediately notice a couple of things, one im very intense and two the coaching Cornell is a lot different than the regular every day Cornell. Off the court I’m very laid back and love to joke around and bust peoples chops as much as possible. On the court I’ve heard that my persona changes quite drastically. I take it very seriously and hold my players accountable for their actions. My coaching philosophy during the school year doesn’t change for the kids that I coach in the spring/summer. We’re going to work hard, we’re going to be respectful, we’re going to be disciplined, and more importantly we’re going to be a family.

Now most of the players in our program play against each other during the school year. So twice a year and sometimes a little more (if you throw in tournaments) their going to war with each other. Then as soon as the season is over I’m telling them that the person next to them is their sister or brother for the next four months, so no matter what happened in the past they better learn to care about each other in the present. You would think that this would be very hard to do and I believe in some places it is (or not done at all) But I feel that the “culture” of our program was formed the very first day I started my company.

Your program always ends up being what you stress. Which simply means you are what you preach. And I preach toughness, respect, discipline, and family every day I’m on the court with my team. If you come to my high school girls practice you will hear sneakers squeaking, girls communicating, and coaches yelling. There’s no such thing as a day off from what we believe are our core values. Players can’t come in one day and say “hey you know what I don’t think I’m going to practice hard today”, because the moment they started dogging it everyone would run for it and then that player would have a lot of not so happy people to answer to. If one person makes a mistake everyone makes a mistake, if the team loses we all lose, and the team wins we all win together. This isn’t something I made up, thousands of coaches say the same thing every day but it’s special when you notice your players actually doing it and better yet when they do it without you saying anything.

One of the teams I coach along with my wife is a 17U team (which just means players 17 and under can play on it) Most of these girls have been with us for quite some time so they know what we expect from them. They have been through countless clinics, summer camps, and practice sessions with me and my coaches over the years. The fact that they are still playing for me says a lot about their character, toughness, and dedication. I always tell new players that the AAU season will be the hardest thing they’ve ever experienced in their lives to this point but also one of the most rewarding. This weekend we played against 4 very tough and skilled teams from all over NJ and some parts of NY. My team (and when I say my I mean my wife and my players also) won all four games. Now other teams we have coached in the past have done that a couple of times before,  and to be honest winning isn’t my primary goal in AAU its building, but the way this team stuck together and the amount of effort and belief they gave an had in one another is what made me so proud of them.

Are players are taught to always give back. Our older girls in college come back to help out during summer camps and workouts, our girls currently playing AAU that are older help out our younger teams etc. We also have a rule to support each other. So if our 17U team is playing you’ll probably see one of our other teams that aren’t watching the game and cheering them on and vice versa. So this weekend before one of our games a team we were about to play was talking trash about how our girls were “annoying” because they were sitting together and cheering on one of our other teams, and how they count when they stretch etc etc . Pretty much all the team stuff that we do on a daily basis.

When I heard this I was amazed. Not only were our girls being chastised for supporting another team in our organization they were “annoying” because they actually care about one another. Well despite all of that our annoying girls beat that team by a good amount of points communicating and caring about each other the whole way.

Being part of a team is only special when its an actual team. Some “teams” aren’t really teams at all. Yes they have the same uniform, and yes they practice and play together but something is missing. How many times do you hear about a disgruntled player or a fight that happened between teammates? One fight this year between two college teammates happened on TV for the whole world to see it. To me there’s no better feeling than being part of a group that all have the same agenda. For us its normal what our girls do but to outsiders looking in its something that’s very special.

Don’t get me wrong their still kids. They still drive me insane, and I still have to run them sometimes (maybe more than sometimes) but there’s not another team I’d rather coach after my regular season than these girls. And thanks to them the younger players coming up will be the same way.